On the Other Side of Fear

I have a confession to make. I have once again been putting off something because I was scared. I’ve been putting off signing up for an Olympic Distance Triathlon because I’m afraid of the 25 mile bike ride. I know that may sound silly given that I’ve run 26.2 miles 3 times. The thing is that since I’ve now finished several marathons I have the confidence that I can go the distance running, but I’ve never biked 25 miles in my life. I rode my bike all over town as a kid, but I seriously doubt that I ever got close to 25 miles plus that was eons ago as my daughters would tell me. The furthest I have ridden a bike was during my sprint triathlon last summer. Then I rode 13 miles and, to me, it seemed like the bike ride would never end. I’m sure the hail during the bike ride didn’t help, but I don’t think that was the only reason it seemed interminable. My crappy mental attitude towards the bike ride was probably my biggest hindrance.

Today I finally went online and officially registered for the Mighty Hamptons Triathlon in Sag Harbor, NY. The race is scheduled for Sunday September 8th and will be a great way to cap off summer as my girls start school the next day. (Watching Mom finish her first Olympic distance tri may not be their idea of excitement though.)

So why did I finally overcome my fear today? Again, it’s because of something difficult that happened (and is still working its way to fruition). Have you noticed a pattern?

My brother-in-law has been gravely ill and none of us knew for sure if he’d live. He was overall healthy one day and then bam he was in the hospital with a bad strep infection. He’d shown no real symptoms besides not quite feeling right. That led to the whole family pitching in to help out his wife with the kids and support her through something just terrifying. And I mean TERRIFYING! Being a single parent is my number one nightmare. Luckily, it does seem that he will recover. Thank God!

When I was finally able to stop running around and sit quietly for a few moments I knew that I needed to sign up. I have to LIVE now while I can still swim, bike and run. I have to push through my fears for every time I do I get a little bit stronger. Every time I do I find that little bit of extra courage or strength that I never knew existed. Every time I do, I find me.

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